Seizure Salad

another post about TV...

... I really have to get out more.

I just discovered a program that must signal the End of Days. Or something.

On Discovery Health: "Autopsy: Gunter's ER".

Episode: "Massive Blood Loss".

It appears to be an autopsy, with what looks like an ACTUAL CORPSE, performed in a TV studio in front of an audience. Lots of close-ups of, um, slicing. If it's not an actual corpse, then the props department really went out of their way with the mottled, bluish skin and the overgrown fingernails.

*runs off to check IMDB*

OK, for real - this show uses actual cadavers.

End of Days. I'm just sayin'.

Schlemiel! Schlimazel!

Lately, I'm a slave to my TV at a very specific time. A time not known for its gripping TV content. A time ruled by game shows and that filler in between the news, and the good stuff. That time, is 7:30 pm.

The show: Laverne and Shirley. That in itself wouldn't be quite so odd...but what is odd is that what has enslaved me is the worst possible type of 70s sitcom...the episodes after the show has jumped the shark .

CTS (the christian channel) has been airing re-runs of Laverne and Shirley, specifically the episodes after the gals moved away from Milwaukee to Burbank.  It gets worse...Shirley leaves the show, pregnant and married to a dude named Meenie ( get it? Shirley Feenie-Meenie). We never even see this guy. I think she was pregnant in real life and wanted off the show. Apparently she even filed a $20 mil. lawsuit against the studio.

They re-edited the opening sequence to get rid of any traces of Shirley, but the show is still called Laverne and Shirley. But there is no Shirley. It so, so totally jumped the shark. It is so bad. Penny Marshall looks about 42 years old. Every episode she has a different boyfriend, what was funny 7 years ago is starting to reek of pathos. It's so utterly heinous it's somehow totally compelling - everything exciting happens in Frank DeFazio's "Cowboy Bill" restaurant. Carrie Fisher makes a guest appearance, as does a young Jim Belushi. My favorite guest star so far is Charles Fleischer, who turned up in a great episodes of Barney Miller. The guy is a fantastic comedic character actor...he also played Carvelli in Welcome Back Kotter. He has a website where he plays around with math formulas.

Ah, Barney Miller. Fuck, I loved that show. Best guest actors, every episode had some total gem of a line. Some brilliant guy who showed up in the tank all the time, he played Mr Kopekne, a guy who thought he was a werewolf, and a guy who thought he was Jesus. Brilliant dude, my brother and I would just wait for the episodes when that guy was on.

*runs off to check IMDB...*

Kenneth Tigar!

This Adult ADD Moment was brought to you by Schlitz.

I can has a sweet potato

This is hilarious even if you don't have a dog, and hysterical if you do.

un-Googleable

In this techno-Modern day and age, it is extremely frustrating and unsatisfying when you have a crush on someone, and they aren't Google-able for whatever reason. When you are shy, it is so very satisfying to be able to stealthily patrol the internet for little crumbs of someone's presence in the world. Rather than actually talking to them, and stuff. Maddening.

Pixie was a crazy happy snow-dog today on our walk after work. I love how even 9 months after getting her, her personality continues to shine a little more all the time. We went to a little green spot near my place and she was being super playful. I can't let her off leash, ever (unless in a totally fenced area) so we had to play kind of carefully so I didn't hurt her on the leash, but she was chasing me and kind of head-butting me in a hilarious way. It was really fun, it's almost as if she was showing a sense of humour. Then, on the way home, stopping every 10 seconds to put a paw in the air and look at me as if to say "please remove these offensive little hard rock-like objects from betwixt my paw pads, Madame". She hates salt.

Love that dog, damn.

I just discovered this today - Fred Armisen from SNL and Carrie Brownstein ex of Sleater-Kinney have a comedy duo called ThunderAnt. How cool is that? They have a few videos of on the site, the Feminist Bookstore looked potentially funny.

I harboured a vain delusion that some day, somehow I would end up playing drums for S-K after Janet Weiss sprained an ankle or something. I was pissed when they broke up.